Correction. That last post should have looked something like this.

SNOW HAS LOST HIS SHIRT.
YOUR ARGUMENT IS INVALID

Snow

Personality flaws, wha?

Let it Snow, let it Snow, let it SNOW! - A story of SNOW

This is totally dedicated to livi =P and spoilers ensue...sorta...and pics got progressively worse cuz i had to take pics from my phone since my camera shutter won't turn on no more...boo...=(

Once upon a time in a futuristic fantasy world (with really cool bgs that i will post later), there was a girl named Serah (or however they want to spell)...
Serah met a boy...very "big" boy to be exact named Snow...

who has a motorcycle shaped with 2 chicks on the seat...

They fall in love in the typical "petite skool girl meets really huge guy who's in a gang that does all this illegal stoof"...
Serah gets capture with this god-like being that has water as hands...to do its bidding...

who makes her find cooler ppl to do its bidding...

her sis

her macho boy toy

some black dood that has a chocobo chick living in his afro...

some pop-tarty aussi chick that wears fur and is on the run from peta...

emo kid that looks at ground

Serah succeeds and gets "eternal life"...while her sis (one of the cool ppl that Serah found for the god-like with water as hands creature) goes on a rampage to kill everyone that pissed her off...including snow...

snow then gets hit by this other chick that controls dragons...(awesome!)
and then he gets captured
by this really cool brigadier general who has its own ship/fleet (u know he had to be there...)
and has a richter lookalike as a lackey...

he gets let go on good behaviour...and encounters emo kid with knife...who gets even more emo with snow's annoying dialogue about how he's going to save the world, etc...
and the kid w/ knife gets even emo when snow hugs him in free fall for no apparent reason...

so emo kid w/ knife tries to blow him up...

but snow, having indestructible android armour and cat-like reflexes, lands on his back and only limps away...taking the emo kid w/ him to further thicken the plot...(pwp?)
he gets invited to a party in some old guy's house where he had to strip to show off his huge, smooth pecs...
...and gets a confession by Serah's vengeful sis...
then a confession from the emo kid with knife...

then a confession from dragoon lady...*snickers

then finally the old guy
he is flattered and begs them to stop...
then, a general appears from the outside...
who brought his own spotlights, lighting crew, etc. and confesses his love to our "hero"...
snow being torn between all these confessions, strips off his jacket...

and the general tries to engrave "hands off my man!" on snow's awesome, manly chest with laser beams
but fails miserably as he forgot his glasses...
snow turns him down by confessing his undying luv for serah (remember the chick at the beginning?)...
obviously someone gets mad and started shooting up the place...
and accidentally killed everyone in the process, including the general with the lighting crew...
surprisingly, snow comes out alive because of his android armour with only breathing in the nerve gas...
and they all live happily ever...after they go and save the world from god-like creatures....the end!

Hope u guys enjoyed that...as none of it was really true...except for the pics (character pics were from ffxiii official website)...and how in my mind, it would be how the story should be...sorta...well if i had a lot of tequila and ice-cream in my system...by a lot i mean 4 gallons at least...mmmm....i'm gonna go have cookies now!

First look: Character

As my last post indicated, I finally, finally, finally got to playing this week. As I find plot and character most appealing (call it the English student in me), allow me to treat one of these first :)



Lightning: Lightning is Paine from X-2 with her hair dyed pink, which is neither a jab at Lightning nor Paine. Stand-offish with just enough humanity to allow for sympathy, she scores points (from me, at least) for not taking any of the crap Snow and Hope sling around. On the battlefield, she does fancy jumps!! And has a horse that could almost be a unicorn!! What's not to like?


Snow:I was trying to locate a particular picture of Snow. FYI, never, and I repeat, NEVER type in "ffxiii snow shirtless". You come across many pictures of shirtless men who are not Snow (I found the picture anyhow. It will feature in a future post, as soon as I am able to wash out my eyeballs sufficiently). There might have been a time in my youthful girlhood where I would have appreciated such a man. As stated earlier, Lightning punches him so I don't have to, which is great. While I appreciate his loyalty, his undying love, his persistence, his optimism, his muscular chest, wait, what was I saying? Right. I think I am most offended by his overly earnest dialogue and the 2-dimensional character that results. All the right sentiments are there. I'd just prefer it if I didn't feel like puking a little after he shared his feelings.

Sazh: I quite like him so far as a character. He stands up to Lightning, looks out for the kids, and has a chocobo living in his hair!! I hope you gathered that I was just kidding about the Sazh/Vanille pairing, and I hope that no fics actually exist of this (although to each their own). I am also afraid to look.

Hope: I have admittedly warmed up to the kid since my last post, but I have a feeling that this might be short-lived, given his plot-line. I think, perhaps, to give Square-Enix the benefit of the doubt, that the creators were reacting to a general fan dislike of Vaan from ff12. Instead of an overly-positive boy in his early teens, then, their solution was the provide us with the absolute antithesis. This is not an effective strategy. Just because he's a cute kid, doesn't mean he gets to be emo. No one gets away with being emo. No one.

Vanille: In Cocoon script, Vanille's name translates as "Fan service". Because, really? Her perkiness (and by that, I mean her personality, thank you) is not offensive, so far, and she works well with Sazh. Oh yes. She works in the best way possible (on the battlefield).

That is actually as far as I've gotten, in terms of playable characters. Fang is floating around, but so far, she has only taken up Lightning's place as "beater-of-Snow", which has been comforting. Slowly losing the ability to write. That must mean it's time for bed.

And now...disturbing fanfiction pairings

As this must be brief, I thought that I'd leave you with my favourite disturbing pairings as part of my first glimpse into FFXIII.

Snow's face + Lightning's fist
Sazh + Vanille (That's right. I went there.)
Hope + whatever ledge his mom fell off of (ouch. That was admittedly a little too mean)

All that remains is going to fanfiction.net to see if such pairings already exist. Or to write them (eww).